My Los Angeles Photo Spam | week 11

Much has been happening, and I’ve been busy being occupied with doing other things besides taking photos. I’ll let the photos do the talking. 

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THAT’S RIGHT SAM IS FINALLY HERE IN LA! As for me, I’ve been busy getting a kick out of introducing epic places and epic food to her. Tomorrow is going to be pretty epic (and probably tiring) because we’re going on a road trip with the classmates! I will take videos. 



Post-theft rants and LA Public Transport

I’ve been taking the public transport to work recently (since… I don’t have a car anymore because I got my bag stolen and lost my car keys, credit card, driver’s license, IC and all that jazz) and if you haven’t seen the song that I wrote for the person who stole my stuff and spent my money, I’m just gonna put it right here: 

So that asshole got him/herself (probably) a celebratory dinner at the atas Artisan House, bought 40USD++ worth of supplies at the CVS Pharmacy, went online shopping on Google and bought a Zipcar (Car rental company) gift card worth 400USD ALL WITHIN THE 1ST HOUR OF STEALING MY STUFF. And since I’ve been doing my research on Zipcar using Google Chrome they can’t stop playing Zipcar commercials everytime I load a video on YouTube (thanks for rubbing salt on my wound, Google Chrome)


I have no space in my heart for nonsense like this to spoil my mood so it really was a laugh at it and deal with it kinda thing on my part. I’m just glad that once again, I have amazing friends, I’m thankful that everything’s settling down (slowly but surely) and I’m thankful that I’m still alive and well. 

I’ve been calling up many people (to the point that I’m no longer that afraid of making phone calls. That’s a lot.) and it’s only recently that I realised how troublesome paper work really is because… PEOPLE REALLY PROCRASTINATE. Heck, I thought I was the only one who would go like, “meh, this can wait.” I was in for a big surprise. Hirzi and Nana have been telling me that I need to scream for things to move when it comes to dealing with banks and companies but I haven’t been heeding their advice. 

I guess it’s time to scream at some people (that’s if… they even pick up the phone or hear my earnest voicemails). 


Okay but seriously, this hoo-ha aside, the main point of my blog entry today is to briefly talk about… *jazz hands* My LA public transport experience. 

I’ve taken the public transport quite a few times before I got my car during the first part of my LA trip and my understanding upon reaching here is that… People aren’t usually fans of the public transport in LA. New Yorkers take the public transport all the time, but not the average Angeleno. LA is a car-centric city. Everything is spread out, so the average person would drive instead of walk or take the public transport. So that means that:

1. Everyone else who does not own/can’t afford a car takes the public transport. It could be the average working adult, tourist, teenagers, aunty, uncle, whoever, really, but sometimes you also get the shady person/people whom you wanna be a little wary about.

2. The public transport system kinda sucks. It’s not as efficient, the buses can take a long time to arrive and half the people here don’t really get how these things work because it’s all so confusing. But obviously, there is a reason why the public transport works that way. In NY, the population is what, 4 times denser than in LA? So obviously they gotta efficient enough for that. 

3. Okay. Singapore is too clean. 

I’ve been taking the bus with my arms clasped over my bag like it’s my favourite pickle, but one thing that I like about taking the LA public transport that somewhat supersedes the not-so-nice for me, is getting to see people look out for one another. 

Everytime someone old or disadvantaged gets onto the bus, at least be one person would speak up or get up to help. If someone needs a seat, someone would give up their own seats or tell someone else to get up if they didn’t have any to give. Just thought it’s cool, because people don’t get Stomped here for not giving up seats. They just do it because they want to. Never fails to warm my heart :’) 

Alright back to work. 




My Los Angeles Photo Spam | week 9

I’m not gonna deny, it’s been a tough week. Things are slowly starting to fall into place and I intend to treat myself to something when everything settles. Wow, I have no words. I’m just thankful that I have awesome friends :’) I’m just gonna dump all my photos in non-chronological order. 




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Epic dinner at the Whitley Household, where I took refuge in for a few days after having my things stolen.

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 presetThe three chefs: Farhan, Wan, and Mary.


Processed with VSCOcam with c2 presetSomeone left this at my couch in the office. 



Processed with VSCOcam with g2 presetHirzi made oats with banana, blueberry and maple syrup for me :’) 



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Processed with VSCOcam with k3 presetEpic dinner at Rowena’s place. 


Processed with VSCOcam with c1 presetThis is the sleeping area of the Whitley Household. It’s just like camp :’)

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My classmates pooled some money, food, and bought groceries for me :’) 


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Processed with VSCOcam with c2 presetThis is what’s cooking right now. 


So I wrote a song for the person who stole my bag and I will be posting it on Tuesday, 8pm (GMT-8), over here. I’m actually quite proud of it. If you wanna know what I have to say to the person to stole my stuff and then shamelessly went for some shopping and celebratory dinner at an atas restaurant, do keep a lookout for my video. But here’s a hint: 


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I’m looking forward to a great week ahead. Ain’t no silly thief gonna put me down, yo. 


My Los Angeles Photo Spam | week 8 (shit just got real)

“Suppose I happen to know a unique flower, one that exists nowhere in the world except on my planet, one that a little sheep can wipe out in a single bite one morning, just like that, without even realizing what he’d doing – that isn’t important? If someone loves a flower of which just one example exists among all the millions and millions of stars, that’s enough to make him happy when he looks at the stars. He tells himself ‘My flower’s up there somewhere…’ But if the sheep eats the flower, then for him it’s as if, suddenly, all the stars went out. And that isn’t important?”

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince


This week, I drove Euodia to Camarillo Premium Outlets to do some last minute shopping. The drive was about an hour long and I’m dismayed at myself for having such a low driving stamina. After I was done succumbing to the temptation that is F21, I proceeded to lock myself in my car before anything else happens. 

Processed with VSCOcam with f3 preset Would you feel creeped out if you saw your name handwritten on your car windscreen in the middle of the night? I thought it was pretty sweet.

But seriously, the view. 

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So I went to DisneyToons Studios and got to look at how they do animation movies and character voice recording. It was really interesting! Had fun in the recording room when I got to relive my childhood, made my day :’)

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This cheered me up. 

Processed with VSCOcam with p5 preset Wan’s finally in Los Angeles (she went to New York for her internship) and so we all went exploring at West Hollywood.

Church service was awesome; I have no words to describe how epic the whole thing was, not to mention being pleasantly surprised that JD led worship. Serving has also been really great. I’ve never been happier doing work that people usually find shitty. This week, I got the privilege to do something I’m more familiar with :D 

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So the not-so-cool thing that happened after church was… My bag got stolen. Mhm, I probably got too carried away and forgot that I’m still in LA after all. I panicked and ran around the theatre looking for it, but to no avail. My wallet, car keys, identification card, driver’s license and credit card were all in my bag. I almost cried and went totally uncool about it but thank god a few servers stayed behind to really help me through it. I was told to call someone to get me since I’m stranded in Downtown LA (not the safest part in Los Angeles at midnight). So, I called Farhan to come get me. 

I wasn’t there to personally witness it, but apparently, Farhan (he’s living with a bunch of others) went to tell the rest that I was in trouble after talking to me on the phone and Hirzi immediately ended his Skype call with Sal and Mary got up to follow them after saying, “you guys need money.” She also mistakenly grabbed a bra along when she left the house X’D So they all arrived at Downtown LA looking like the most random ensemble ever because they were in such a rush. I, on the other hand, am very, very grateful that they actually rushed down for me without a second thought.  

I lost quite a sum of money and my bank account looks pretty sad right now and it’s not like I’m gonna go home tomorrow, so… It wasn’t the best experience. Nonetheless, I’m thankful that I’m still alive. I’m thankful that I mindlessly brought my spare house key instead of my actual ring of keys, I’m thankful that I mindlessly put my house key with me in my pocket instead of my bag (I usually throw it in my bag), I’m thankful that I didn’t think about bringing any other valuable items. So yes, I did take a fall but I still landed on a safety net. Hopefully everything falls into place eventually. And to whoever that stole my stuff and money, you suck. 

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Had to tow my beloved car because I didn’t have my car keys with me. My heart really sank at the sight of this.  :( 

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 presetBut as you can see here, it’s hard to stay upset when you have this bunch as your personal damage control team. I am truly impressed and still in awe of what they did for me :’) 

It gets better. 

I wanna run through the halls of my high school I wanna scream at the top of my lungs

(because I can’t think of a title for this post but I can think of my state of mind right now)

I was sitting in my empty house waiting for time to pass in the morning before heading off to work and it dawned upon me that I’m actually overseas right now. I find it amazing that a place 14 thousand over miles away can make me feel so alone, yet so at home. Sometimes, the house gets so silent that I almost believe that it’d smother me. But sometimes, all it takes is a gentle reminder for the silence to become a warm blanket that engulfs me in my breathlessness and nervousness and suddenly I know, I just know, that everything’s gonna be okay. There’s just a different spirit about this whole trip that’s forcing me to learn in a very different way. 

Today, the fire alarm kept going off at the office and everytime it did, everyone would look around hesitantly before deciding whether to get up or continue with whatever they were doing. It’s like a “is this really happening?” kinda reaction. And I guess whatever form of mild anxiety that occurs during this point becomes pale in comparison to when there really is a fire in front of you and you’re forced to react because shit just got real. Similarly, I’ve always toyed with the idea of how I’d react to a fire but honestly, I never really knew until I encountered one. Just for the fun of mentioning it, I became the clumsiest person the last time something caught on fire and my dad had to save me from it (it wasn’t that much of a big deal, I only almost burnt the kitchen down). So don’t expect me to save a room if it ever catches on fire. 

Have you ever sprained your ankle? I have and it sucks because once you sprain your ankle, the likelihood of you spraining it again becomes much higher. I used to always wear an ankle guard whenever I had to get physical (dance) because obviously, it guards the ankle. But what it actually does is simply hold everything together temporarily while you heal and if you start relying on it, your ankle muscles would never grow strong enough to truly support you. 

So shit got real. It’s like I’ve been walking around listening to the fire alarm go off with a quizzical look on my face and an ankle guard around my ankle wondering if it’s really happening but now, there’s a fire in ma face, my ankle guard’s gone and I have no choice but to let my dad put out the fire for me while I grow some muscles and- you know. It is pretty scary to be lonely. I kinda like how I have no choice about it cos I get to really realise that I’m not alone :’D 

I guess you’d never know if there’s a safety net if you never jump, eh? 

So hi. Prepare to be swept off your feet. 

My Los Angeles (no) Photo Spam | week 7

I didn’t really take photos this week because I didn’t really go to any epic places. It was, however, the roommate Euodia’s birthday, so I did this Lemon Tree cover for her and it’s funny because to be completely honest, I hated that song as a child. I thought that it was overplayed. Also, in kindergarten I remember being made to dance along to that song. But the power of friendship surpasses childhood trauma, right? 

Speaking about YouTube videos, I’ve made a new playlist called Behind-the-songs (since I’m always posting songs…) and I will now dump miscellaneous, casual, nonsensical non-music videos into that playlist. I may post something really different tonight at 8pm. So do keep a look out.

Other than that, it’s been a lethargic week and I’m still feeling lethargic right now so I can’t wait to go home and sleep. Church was amazing as usual, with Hillsong Young & Free as well as Taya Smith around to lead worship. Looking forward for the weeks to pass by quicker. 


The story behind Hush Now

This song, as with all my originals, is a mixture of events and experiences that has ever happened/is happening in my life.

It was a quiet, depressing afternoon with someone I love, and we were just talking. We were talking about our break up. She was someone whom I’ve always thought was “straight as a ruler” based on what we’ve ever talked about and I was shell-shocked the first time she admitted that she liked me. The thing is, we loved each other like crazy, and we still do. But being with someone of the same sex isn’t exactly a bed of roses, especially in Singapore.

So we talked and tried our best to make light of the shit hole that we sat in. After a quiet moment of exchanged smiles, she opened her mouth and hesitated. Finally, she said. “You know how I’ve always been bullied a lot in school in the past? Liking someone of the same sex would be another reason for people to pick on me.”

It took me a while before it dawned upon me the weight of what she just said. I wasn’t the first girl that she liked, and it didn’t matter. But for years, she kept this to herself in the deepest cracks of her heart. And my heart broke even more at the thought of that.

Because I know how tough it is to keep your heart locked in a safety box of condemnation for years and years while everyone else gets to openly like someone, talk about them incessantly and then worry about going too far after, perhaps, scoring a few bases. I know how it feels like to not even go there; to try not to even feel in the first place. I know how it feels like to pretend to feel; to psycho myself to like someone that society, friends and family approve of and then second-guess myself over and over again until I come to terms with myself that it’s just not the same. I know how it feels like to think that there’s something wrong with myself simply because everyone else thinks so, and how scary it is to think of how people would react if they knew. I know how it feels like to hate myself, to be torn between what I’ve been taught and how I really feel, and hurt myself because my heart is too numb from craning away every single hint of liking someone I’m not supposed to like. I know how it feels like to be very afraid, and almost believe that I can never live, love and serve in the capacity that God has intended for me. I know exactly how it feels like, not through empathy or a great sense of imagination, to be secretly gay.

I stopped the conversation then and there and hugged her for a long time. It must have been tough to be in her position through all these years.

This memory is part of the story behind Hush Now.

If you’ve been following my journey through my blog, you’d know that I’ve grown to believe in a God who loves me unconditionally, who gives me an undeniable, irrevocable calling in my life that is undefinable and unrestricted, who creates miracles out of mud and loves me in an unconventional, ground-shattering, rule-breaking, scandalous, audacious way that was, is and will never be defined by what anyone, myself included, do, say or think. This is the other part of the story behind Hush Now, the part that I got/get to learn over and over again throughout my journey. I find peace, rest, courage, comfort and hope in knowing that my identity can never be defined by anything or anyone except God Himself, and nothing else matters because Love has already won this war. People can say all sorts of nasty things but the things that they say can never revoke the journey that I’ve taken and the good things that God has done/will do with and in my life.

If you are in a similar situation right now with no one to turn to, I want you to know that you are not alone and you are so very precious for exactly you, not for what people would like you to be. Take heart; Love is much more than we’ll ever know.




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